In this episode, I’m joined by my coaching client, Valerie Rivera. Valerie is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and the owner of Inner Solace Therapy, a private practice that specializes in helping women heal from traumatic experiences, and helping couples strengthen their relationships.
Tune in as we explore:
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Work with me!
In this episode, I’m joined by my coaching client, Valerie Rivera. Valerie is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and the owner of Inner Solace Therapy, a private practice that specializes in helping women heal from traumatic experiences, and helping couples strengthen their relationships.
Tune in as we explore:
Links:
Work with me!
Hi, everyone. Welcome to the Brave and Well podcast. I'm your host, Vanessa Newton. I'm a group practice owner and social worker. I'm also a Latina entrepreneur, mom, and recovering, perfectionist. On this podcast, we teach mental health professionals how to build sustainable, profitable, and values-aligned businesses. Here, you'll hear all about decolonizing the business side of private practice and supporting the entrepreneur and the therapist. We'll. Music. Also invite fellow therapists and healers to share their stories. Our time together will be raw, honest, vulnerable, and held together by joy. If you like what you hear, subscribe to our newsletter at braveandwell.com slash newsletter-signup. Thank you for listening. Music. I'm so excited to be interviewing Valerie today at the Brave and Well podcast. Valerie and I have known each other for a few years now. She's actually been a coaching client of mine and we're actually from the same place. We're both from the Valley, from McAllen, Texas. So shout out to all my RGV folks out there. But without further ado, I wanna introduce Valerie. Valerie Rivera is a licensed clinical social worker and clinical supervisor in the state of Texas. She earned her undergraduate degree in social work from the University of Texas Pan American, where she also went on to receive her Master of Science in Social Work. Ms. Rivera has experience working in school settings through a nonprofit organization, as well as supervising a team of 40 plus employees and university interns. She's also worked in a hospital setting and was the first clinical therapist at a local medical school, creating policies and procedures and offering counseling services. Valerie is an avid believer that complex trauma endured in childhood has adverse effects in adulthood. Therefore, she has received specialized training in trauma and relationships. Today, Valerie is a clinical social worker and an owner of a private practice called Inner Solace Therapy that specializes in helping women heal from traumatic experiences and helping couples strengthen their relationship. Valerie enjoys contributing to the professions of counseling and social work and to the community at large to training and facilitations of ongoing learning. Welcome, Valerie. All right, y'all. Welcome back to another Brave and Well episode. I'm your host, Vanessa Newton, licensed clinical social worker, group practice owner and entrepreneur. Today we have my friend Valerie Rivera on the podcast, and I'm so excited to interview her and talk about all things business and life. So welcome, Valerie. Thanks for being here. Hi, Vanessa. And I have to say that I'm like your number one fan girl. So I'm so excited to be here today. I'm so excited to to have you. Yes. Yeah. Valerie and I have known each other for a few years now. She's been a coaching client of mine and we've become colleagues and friends and she's from my hometown. So it's kind of cool. The universe brought us together. That's what I like to say. I. Think so. We have a lot of things in common, which just makes me feel like your total goals for me to reach. We do have a lot in common, which is so weird. Yeah. Well, tell us a little bit about yourself and the work that you do. Yeah. So my name is Valerie Rivera. I'm a licensed clinical social worker and supervisor here in the state of Texas. And I have two specializations, right, two niches that I really concentrate on. One of them is working with women that have experienced childhood traumatic experiences in their life that have now spilled over into adulthood, right? So whatever that looks like, whether it's through anxious behaviors, depressive symptoms, relationship struggles, I like to work with those women so that we can make connections and understand, right? Why they behave the way that they do and why they think and do the things that they do. So that's one specialization. And then the other one is working with couples that experience high conflict in their marriage relationship. Oh, couples. Love it. Oh, you do? I do. I love it. I don't know if I ever told you this, but I, when I first started private practice, I was like, you know, that feeling of like, I just have to get all the clients. Like I just need to get them in the door. And like. I was like, okay, let me try couples because I had a few that were reaching out. And I just remember my second couple that I worked with, that was like the one that was like, I can't do this. I'm not cut out for this, this is not the energy that I want to be in. It's just hard. It's hard work. It's a lot of personalities, right, in the room. Yes, it is hard work. And I stumbled across couples work by, I would say, accident, right? Maybe it was no accident. But at the time, I was at the university and a couple came in and I was like, well, it's like, do or die, right? Like I have to, I'm going to work with them. And I think that that couple really led me to fall in love with that type of work. They were high promptly. They were married on the brink of divorce. And it was like the pressure was on, like, this is it, this is our final straw. And I want to say that I didn't know what I was doing. But I knew I had the clinical skills to figure it out. And at the end, I worked with them for about a good six, probably six to eight months, right where the last few weeks were more maintenance work. And the couple is married, you know, remained married, moved away, graduated from their graduate program, and they are doing well. So I think that that right there was was motivation enough for me to like continue the work. Yeah, and the fact that you enjoyed it. I mean, you have to enjoy it, right? Whatever this work that we're doing, we have to enjoy it in some capacity to keep going. So that's amazing. I value couples therapists so much. I know in our group practice, like hiring them is really hard and finding folks who do that, who identify as a couple's therapist, right? It's really challenging. So you are needed. Thank you. Yes, yes. So tell us about your entrepreneurial journey and kind of where you started with private practice and where you're at right now. Yes, so when I first had this idea in mind, it was before I was even a clinical social worker. I knew I wanted to do this work, but getting started was beyond me. I didn't know what I was doing. I was still working full-time at the university And it wasn't until the pandemic that. I decided I was going to, you know, open this private practice up because I had more time during the time that I was working at the university. It was really stressful, you know, having to manage a family, having to manage that work environment itself and, and the goings and comings, you know, you just didn't have to, I didn't have time to do it. So when the pandemic hit, you know, March, 2020, I said, I'm going to do this. And I think that's when I had already been, I say stalking you, stalking you on Instagram. Like what is this girl all about? In a very healthy way, y'all. Very healthy way. With a lot of boundaries in place, if you want to say that. But really it was, you know, about wanting to know who you were. Wanting to get to know your work and what you could offer, right? And I think I would get myself excited about the possibility of working with you and opening my private practice. And so I, you know, did the things that I needed to do at the beginning, and just enough to get me started. And then I think a few months later, that's when I reached out to you, because I realized that I did need help, right, I needed help beyond what my capacity entailed at the time. And so I was online up until most recently, where I opened my own physical location, and started offering those services. And throughout these, you know, Inner Solace just turned three last month. So I was excited about that. Yeah. To see like the growth, right, to be able to reflect on how far I've come, but also how much more I want to keep going. Because this practice has evolved in so many different ways that I knew I wanted to grow into, but didn't really know how I was going to get there from the start. Yeah, I mean, I say this all the time, you know, it's, it's incredible to watch your growth? Because it's I mean, at the beginning, obviously, you were a solo entrepreneur. And now would you say you own a group practice? Is that how you identify? You know, it's weird, because when I fill out forms, it asks, like, Are you a solo? Are you a group? Yes, I'm a group. And I haven't really found that confidence to say I'm a group practice. But I do have one part time employee. And so I could say, you know, this is us being a group and then I have two contractual clinicians. Yeah, yeah. So you have a little team. I mean, group practices look differently for everybody. You know, even us, we have 1099 contractors and employees. And so it is a mixture. And I think I would consider yourself a group practice owner for sure. Yes. So you mentioned that you recently left your full-time job and I'm curious if you could share like what has that been like for you? How are you doing? how has that felt? Well, I wanted to leave my full-time job probably two years ago, maybe. Day one of starting private practice. Right. And it just never happened for me because I wasn't mentally and emotionally prepared. I led with a lot of fear and sometimes still do, right? I have to check myself, but I led with a lot of fear of probably the lack of resources and benefits that I didn't think I would have as an entrepreneur. So the main thing for me was one, how do I maintain my salary and grow from there? And how do I pay for these health benefits and give to retirement and do all of those things that I was doing at the university without it really leaving me scared, right? Leaving me with no resources to jump off of. And I was actually just talking to my friend this morning about this and I'm like, I should have done this sooner. And everybody says, you said, you're gonna look back and you're gonna say, why didn't I do this sooner, right? Because it is possible. I have found, you know, I did a lot of research too, before I actually left my full-time job, I did a lot of research about what those health insurance benefits were going to look like for me. And honestly, I think I have probably better health insurance benefits now than what I did. And the university offers great benefits, but I really do feel like it looks the same, you know, it looks the same. So yes, I left in March of 2023. Most recently I left and I met with another friend last week, you know, Wednesday we had brunch on a Wednesday morning. I'm like. I was like, this is the life. This is what I always wondered when people go to yoga at 9am. I'm like, what do you do for a living? Why can't I have that life? Yeah. I'm living that life now and it feels amazing. Yeah, that's so, so cool. I mean, yes, and especially in Austin, like I feel like I always say this, I joke that like nobody works here because I mean, the city is just like vibrant, right? Everyone's out all day, yoga, walking, brunch. I was like that too. I'm like, I want that life so badly to have that flexibility and it is possible. And I'm so glad to hear you say like, it feels good. It was the right thing to do, you know, and I feel that you feel supported, you know, that's the important thing. I mean, running your numbers for anybody listening, like if you are thinking about leaving your full time job, which I was in that place too, I was working full time at the school and private practice part time, it is important to run your numbers, it is important to understand how much is it going to cost me to not just sustain the life that I have, right, with the salary that I'm leaving, but also how do I open myself up to make a little bit more too? And it is possible. Like you said, it's so possible. And I'll link a worksheet in the show notes for y'all too. That'll help you calculate like how to leave your full-time job if anyone is interested, but it is possible. And I know for us, like we have a small business insurance plan. So if you are, and I know this is true for the state of Texas, but if you are a small business and you have at least two employees who want to have or opt into health insurance, you can have a small business insurance plan, you just need to find an insurance agent. So that's what we did. And so it is possible to like either find something and create it through your own business or get it through somewhere else. Right? Yeah. And those are the resources that I wasn't aware of. Right. And that's why I always I'm thankful that there's people like you and there's people around, you know, that support entrepreneurs because I don't know everything. And when they provide you with those resources, it makes it a little bit easier and more feasible to really consider what goals you have in mind and attain them. Yeah, the support, the help and asking the questions you don't know that you're supposed to be asking. Yeah. Yeah. Awesome. Awesome. Well, I want to, I want to jump to, I think your story is really inspiring, especially because it's happened really fast. And I think a lot of people have, you know, started a private practice during COVID and some have really felt like it's been, you know, the best thing and some have not had great experiences, but I want, I'm curious about like, what have you learned since starting a private practice, leaving your full-time job and now being a, a group practice owner, like every step you've taken, just what are some of the key learnings you've had? I think the main one for me has been reaching out for support, because you really cannot do it on your own unless you are a guru in every area and aspect of business, right? And entrepreneurship, like I have somebody that I go to for finances, I have you for coaching, right? Next steps, I have somebody that does marketing, I have all of these different people in my corner and my arena that continuously teach me ways to not only do it in the moment, but do it on my own. And so for you, I would see you, for example, you know, every month and until I got my bearings and then after a while, I was like, okay, like I can do this on my own. And every now and then we check in, I'm like, okay, I need help with, you know, this specific area. But I think the main goal is to find people that are going to root for you, show you the way, show you the ropes so that you can then continue to grow from there. Because if we become dependent, you know, on one resource or one person all the time, then we're really not learning how to grow our own business on our own. So that would probably be like my main. Learning Experience and lesson is that I have to be able to reach out to those people, Yeah, we need each other and I mean, especially in private practice. It is so isolating not Everyone understands this. I mean, there's a lot of people who own businesses, right? But to own a therapy practice specifically is a very unique experience. It's a very unique type of business ownership that you do need support and you do need help. I mean, after this call, I'm gonna hop onto a coaching call with a leadership coach for myself because I need that, right? And so I love that you said that because I think it's just so true. And I, which leads me kind of to my next question about imposter syndrome, right? This universal feeling that we all experience, yet no one talks about it as openly. And I think because maybe it's tied to our shame, right? That this feeling of not being good enough, which is so scary and hard to feel in the first place. But how would you say your imposter syndrome has been rearing its ugly head in your journey. It pops up, you know, for sure. There are even times where I know what I'm talking about with my clients. And then after session, I think back and I'm like, gosh, do I know what I'm talking about? Do I know what I'm saying? Do I really know this skill that I say I specialize in? So every now and then it does show up. And I have to remind myself that I do know what I know. And And that if there's ever any doubt in my mind, I have to really reflect on what I need to do to continue to grow or expand my knowledge base so that I don't sit in that shame cycle of imposter syndrome. So that comes up with my clients, but on the business aspect of things, that I feel like imposter syndrome was prevalent almost all day, every day when I first started. Now it has subsided, but it does show up sometimes when I think about, you know, like the other day, I needed to create a group NPI. And I didn't remember how to do that. So I had to go back to my notes, you know, that you went when you and I first met, I had to go back to my notes and remember, like, where do I even go for this, you know, website. And then I started thinking, gosh, like, you're an entrepreneur, you don't even know how to do like some of the basics, right. But these are things that we don't necessarily do all day, every day. And I had to remind myself that I at least have the resources and the skills to go back to right basics and go from there. But imposter syndrome shows up even when I'm around other therapists, you know, that may be doing it big, I guess, in my mind, or in the way that I interpret their success. And this is where I have to also take a backseat and remind myself that they are where they are not by coincidence, but because of their hard work and their efforts that I too can get there through hard work and effort. So yeah, it's a constant, it's a constant battle inside my head. I love that you said like how you interpret their success, because it's true, right? Like our interpretation or what how we perceive things to be is not necessarily how things are all the time. And so I'm curious how social media adds fuel to the fire in this, in this situation. Gosh, I have a love hate relationship with Instagram. We all do. Yeah, that is my main portal for social media. And I there are days where I'm like. Screw this, like I'm gonna get off of social media. I don't need this. And then I'm like, no, but you do because you have people that fight you through social media, right? Yeah. And then there are times where I'll talk to my VA, and I'll tell her like, you do all social media, I don't want to have anything to do with it. And I'm like, No, but the connection, you know, so, it's like a tug of war. But what I recently started doing, which has really helped me is I started using focus on my phone. So from nine to five, I'm in focus mode. So I don't get any of of these alerts, I turned off all of my alerts for social media, and I will respond and I will chime in when I have, you know, some space to do that. But there are times where I am on social media for a longer period than I want to because I am stuck in this comparison trap. Yep, all these people are doing all these great things. And although I root for everyone, I also put myself in this box of but why not me? And how do I get there faster than what I could even do right now. Yeah. So yeah. Gosh. Love hate relationship for sure. And all this like TikTok and the reels and the, and I'm just like, I can't keep up. And I refuse to keep up. I just cannot. I think I've resigned to this fact of like, I'm gonna show up when I can, as I am. And it has to be enough. Like that just has to be enough. I also don't have the time right now, which I feel like if I had more time on my hands, I probably would be so zoomed in, but it's hard to be on there a lot. And I wish much like you, like, I wish I could do more. It's just it's too much sometimes. It's overwhelming. Yes, I have like I have a to do list every day that it kind of, you know, main things I need to get done. And at the bottom, every single day, it's plan social media content. Do I ever get to it? No. Plan social media content. That's like on everybody's to do list. It's on mine for sure. Yeah. Planet, planet. The poor thing never gets checked off though, but it gets carried over to the next day. I know. I know, I have this like running in my phone, like on the notes app, this running list of IG content ideas. And I, when like an idea comes to my head for a post or something, I'll just drop it in there. And when I get to it, I get to it, you know, but it helps me like. Kind of control that feeling of needing to do it right now versus saying no, this is an idea, Write it down set it aside and circle back to it later, but I like the focus idea That's genius because yeah when I have downtime, I just scroll. Yeah, me too, and I hate it, you know, but that's something that I recently started doing after I left the university It's a free. You know, you've got all these eight hours, nine hours that you used to be so focused on and you know, you needed to get these things done. And now I'm like, well, I'm my own boss, right? So if I want to get my notes done today or tomorrow or next month, that's on me, but you can't do that, right? So focus has really helped me. I had a good three hours of uninterrupted work last week, you know, one day, and it felt amazing. I'm like, look at me knocking all this out. That's awesome. I need that to be my every day. Yeah, I know. I need that time every day. Yeah. I mean, so how would you say social media has helped your business? Because I think this is a big question for a lot of folks. You know, is it worth it? Does it really help? Is it a generator for clients or is it just therapists following therapists? Because I've heard that, too. Yeah, I think it's all of the above, right? It could be whatever you want it to be. I think for me, at first, I used it to learn from other therapists, right, and kind of see how they were using social media to gain clients or to put them their name out there. For me. It's also turned into a generator for clients. You know, I recently had this one client that said, I have been following you for two years, until I finally reached out. And yeah, and she said, like I feel like I know you through social media and that tells me that I'm doing something right because clients are able to connect in a different way than they would. Than if they were to just call and set up an appointment initially, right? I usually have people that say your posts are so helpful because it talks about this and that's what I'm going through. I'm like, okay, then the message that I'm putting out there is specifically with my specialization and that's, you know, helping somebody. So I think that you can use it in various ways, in various aspects. You just have to figure out what that portal is going to be for you. Because if not, it can be very confusing and you can get stuck in this spiral of, I would say, nothingness that feels like it's overwhelming and consuming. Yeah. Figuring out what it is for you. Yeah. Hey, y'all, I'm interrupting this episode because I want to make sure you know about my, workbook. It's called laying the foundation for your private practice. It's a workbook. Specifically for mental health professionals who want to start or grow their private practices. Now you can be anywhere at the stage of your business for this workbook to work for you. So you can either be in contemplation of starting your own private practice at the beginning stages of starting your practice, or even an established group practice owner or private practice owner, who just wants to refine and revise your vision, mission, and values. Over 80 pages of practical exercises and worksheets that cover everything from writing your mission and vision statement to exploring the practicalities of your financials, your ideal client, your streams of revenue, and even creating a self-care plan for yourself. So this is the perfect companion for any therapist at any stage of private practice. I'm taking all of my experience over the years of mentoring many therapists as they begin their entrepreneurial journey to launch their own private practices. You can buy the workbook at www.braveandwell.com forward slash workbook, or just go to braveandwell.com and click on the tab that says book. Now on to the show. Music. I love that because I think social media right now, there's like a lot of conversation around, you know, is it helpful? Is it hurtful? And, and you're right, it can foster connection. And I know for me, like, I've met a lot of other therapists in other states, because of social media that I've been able to connect with and network with and partner with and build relationships with. And so that has also been really helpful. But you have to figure out, like you said, like, how am I going to use this for good? And how do I know when it's becoming not helpful? And and also like harmful for my psyche almost? Yeah, no, for real. Because sometimes I get headaches from being on social media for long periods of time. And it's really because I get stuck in this. In this pattern of if it's not comparison, then it's wanting to connect with people. But then then there's too many people to connect with all at once. And then it doesn't feel genuine. And, you know, I, it's all these things. And then I come across something new that I've never heard of. And so then I, you know, it's kind of like, you keep digging a hole, digging a hole. And by the time, you know what, you're like, well, I've done nothing with this time, you know, how productive has it been for me? So it's hard. Social media is really hard to, to manage sometimes. Yeah. Oh gosh. Love hate relationship. Well, we talked about this before, you know, we got on this, the recording, but I wanted to talk about you opening up a physical space because I've noticed that more therapists are trying to find office space post COVID. And so, you know, you started your business online, you were online for a few years, you just opened a physical space. And so I'm curious, you know, and I'm sure people listening would want to know like, What were some of the challenges around that? What's that been like? Been positive about it. Mm-hmm. I think I'm really lucky because the space that I'm in is actually owned by a family member, my brother-in-law. He has two extra spaces, you know, offices that he offered. And at first I was like, no, I think I'm just going to kind of hold back. I'm going to see what this looks like. And then a few months later I said, okay, no, I think I'm ready to do this because that's when I was going to leave my full-time job. And I was supposed to leave, let's say, like, I think it was going to be August of last year. And then I was like, no, I'll wait until November. I'll wait until January. I'll wait. And I'm like, my gosh, my husband was like, I don't know what to say to you anymore. Like, you're either going to leave or you're not going to leave, right? But I finally did, it barked. But by that time, I already had my space. And I was building up, you know, so one of the, so I got lucky in that regard, right. Is that I, I'm renting out those office spaces, which I would imagine that generally speaking, if I was renting from someone else, they would be a lot more, but you know, I get the family discount. So that's nice. But one of the things that prepared me for that move, whether I was going to be with him or anywhere else is that for an entire two years of inner solace, all of that money that was coming in, I didn't touch. I touched, I touched for, you know, resources and purchasing items that I needed to, but not for my own personal, right? It was it was stashed away. And it really helped me purchase the things that I needed to to be in a physical space. Because I honestly don't know how people do it, or I would have done it, that probably would have been something I would have asked you. But that that was really nice to be able to do that and create a space that I have envisioned, you know, for not only myself, but for my clients, I wanted them to always walk in and feel cozy and feel protected and safe in a place that they can really be vulnerable in. So that's been really nice to create something that I've envisioned for a very long time. And I think this is the starting point for me because I have a bigger vision in mind. But again, this is one of those things where I always ask my husband, and like, should I just jump in? Like, should I just do it and be risky and like, you know, screw it all? And he's like, no, we have to learn to walk before, you know, we run. And I'm like, well, do we though? Do we really have to? So that's where I'm at right now. Yeah. It's so funny how like, we're the same. I tell my husband that too. Cause I'm like a dreamer, right? If you give me like two steps, I'm gonna take 50. Like it's just, I just want to go to the end already. Like I want to get there already. And so I love that, that like, no, you know the answer. No, we cannot open a whole empire in a big house today, but you can, maybe in five years or whatever that looks like. Right. And that's what my brother-in-law, he put me on a, when I told him about, you know. My goals and my dreams, he's like, okay, we're going to put you on a three-year plan. And I said, well, I've already been in business for two. Does that count towards my three-year plan? Or like, what are we talking about here? You know, cause I need specifics. Like I need numbers. I need, I need to, because if I don't have a set date in mind, then I won't get things done. I just know the way that I work, you know, and I'll forget about it. So, yes. Setting those goals, those milestones for you and your business. Yeah. Right. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I mean, when we're talking about this, it's just a different energy, right? When you're in person with clients. The energy and the connection that you have with a client online is there. You know, you can make it happen. Obviously, we made it happen during the pandemic. It's such a different vibe, though, when you're in person, you know, when you're able to see the person when you're able to see them from head to toe and get to know, you know, the little habits and behaviorisms that they have, because you're able to call them out on a lot more and challenge them on a lot more than you would have online. You know, and one of the clients that I had been working with for a few months before I opened my practice in person. I mean, the first thing she did when she walked in was gave me a huge hug and she's like, oh my gosh, I can't believe that I'm seeing you in person. It's such a different. Type of way to connect and to be vulnerable, right, then online. Online obviously works, but I was craving that energy in person for sure. Yeah, it's so true. My God, and especially like you said, like the behaviors and mannerisms of clients, like we can only see so much, you know, online, and I can tell how different it's made the clinical work when you are able to call out, like, I noticed you're moving your feet a lot, or I notice that you've rearranged your seat several times in the last five minutes, what is that about? You know, and being able to kind of speak to those non-verbals is such a powerful part of the process. And so, yeah, I really enjoy that too and find it to be valuable. Yeah, absolutely. You know, one of the things that I practice with do is EMDR. And I miss doing EMDR in person. It's so different doing it in person than doing it online, you know? So EMDR is one of those couples work. Oh, you know, when I would see them online. It's just not the same, you know, you get to see them in person. And how are they sitting? How close? How far apart? Who's, you know, are they touching? Are they not? Those are things that really bring a different type of energy into the room and you get to challenge them on those things. So yeah, love it. Yeah, I can't wait. I want to visit your space. You need to. So I'm going to go to the valley in the summer and I'm going to hit you up and I'm going to come by and visit. Yes, you need to. It's a small... Comfortable space, but it's a couple offices, right? It's two offices. Yeah. Yeah. It's two offices. Yeah. Yeah. Two offices, which is perfect for what we need right now. You know, but like you said, when I build my empire, it's going to be right. Going to be big, massive, massive, huge. Yeah. And it's and you know, and I will say like, it's so nice for you to have an office to go to, especially after leaving your full time job. Or it's like sometimes you just need to get out. Right. because that's how I feel like working from home. I'm like, sometimes I'll just go to a coffee shop or go to my office. It's just nice to say, like, I have somewhere to go and somewhere to be. Right. Because you don't have that office when you have your full, when you leave a full time job, it's like gone. So it's nice to have another space. Awesome. Absolutely. So what have you decided to outsource in your business? Like we've talked about asking for help and, you know, how helpful it is to get other folks support. And so what specifically have you decided to outsource in your business? And what are you still the owner, the doer of? I think the main thing has been hiring a virtual assistant. I mean, almost from day one, I I hired Christy, which has been with me since then. And. It's good because she does a lot of my social media. I mean, why I shouldn't say a lot, she does all of it pretty much. She creates the posts, she'll give me ideas for real. She does all of that, which I don't want to do because it's so time consuming and overwhelming for me. So she does that for me. She creates a lot of like, for example, presentations when I have things that I need to get done. She does a presentations for me. She does all of the background work that probably people don't see and don't understand, you know, the depths of it, but she does all of the background work. And I'm so thankful for her to be able to do that for me. Then I outsource, like, for example, my website, I just hired somebody to redo the content of it and create, you know, these beautiful images and things like that. Because I also did it at the very beginning and I look at the website then and now I'm like, my gosh, what was I thinking, right? We all have to start somewhere. Exactly. I didn't want to spend my own money. Yeah. I wasn't generating anything at the time. So I said, I'm going to do this my own. I'm going to figure it out. But I also have the time to do it. You know, I don't have the time to do that anymore. Yeah. So website management, I have a coach that does, for example, when I'm ready to kick off a new service of some sort, like I'm starting to do intensives with individuals and couples, we're gonna work out a marketing plan to, you know, put that out there. So I have somebody that does marketing, I have you that does, you know, my coaching, anything that I one don't have a knowledge base on that I don't feel secure in or competent in, I will resource out to someone. And then all of the things that I are time consuming, right, or can be tedious for me to do, I also give them to my VA. The things that I have not let go of that you and I have talked about, but I'm not ready yet. I'm not going to do it just yet, is managing the, for example, the consultations. Any new clients that come in, I still do the majority of the consultations myself. I want to know if they're a good fit for me. And if not, then I can, you know, give them to a clinician on my team. I do the majority of those. I still have not let go of any of the money, you know, any of the finances. So I charge all of the clients still. I don't let the contractual clinicians or my clinician do that. I would say those are probably the two biggest things right now that I've held on to. Listen, I get it. Those are probably the two most important pieces, arguably, in someone's business is the clients that are coming in that are going to pay you and pulling the trigger on money, charging people and spending money. I mean, those are really, really important pieces of your business. And it is hard to let go. I only just let go of the financial piece when I went on maternity leave this time. And it was my first time since 2015 of letting that go. And it was, it's still the hardest thing I've ever done. And I'm going back, you know, in August and I might take it back. I don't know, you know, it's just really hard. It's so personal, money is so personal. It's like, there's so much tied up into it. So I get it, you know, and you have, and I think that's the key is like, if you're ready to outsource positions or get outside support, you have to ask yourself like. This is only gonna work if I truly am ready to give this up or delegate this or hand this off. Because if you're not, you're going to waste your time and your money. Right, absolutely. And one of the ways that I learned to slowly start doing that with the other things that I outsource is by speaking differently to myself about it. At the beginning, it was like, oh, I don't want to spend all this money or where am I going to get the money from, right? And then. I don't remember if this was a conversation you and I had, but it was a conversation I had with somebody in regards to how they made me look at it differently of like, one, you're spending money, but think about it obviously as an investment, right? And that word is so, is so big when you, use it in the context of how you're going to give back to your, not only your business, but to yourself through time, right? You know? So it's like, am I going to spend the time, the energy and the effort to learn something that I don't already know? Is it worth it for me to do that? Or is it going to cause more distress? Right. And if it is, then the investment is is going to be worth saving you from all of that. And that's how I've had to talk myself through a lot of the outsourcing. Otherwise, I probably would have been stuck in, again, another guilty spiral of some sort. But that's been probably one of the biggest lessons that I've taken from working with you and other people that have coached me through this. Yeah, it's such a good tip and a good lesson is, how am I investing in myself? And it's a choice. I'm choosing to invest in myself and my business. So yeah, thanks for sharing that. So what does your schedule look like now as a full-time boss lady? Yeah, okay, I love it. So I don't have any appointments Monday mornings, right? It's great. I get to, yes, the Monday mornings are my admin days, admin times. I'll return emails. Text messages, all of those things. But I also have breakfast with my husband and my father-in-law every Monday morning, which is something that they did when I was working, you know, for they've been doing this for a long time that I never got to participate in unless I had a Monday off from work. And now I get to do that every Monday, which has been great. And now that my son's going to be, you know, in summer mode, he's going to get to be with us through that time. So that's one of of the things that I do, Monday afternoons, I try not to schedule clients. But if I do, that's fine. It's not, you know, it's not going to make or break. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday clients, you know, starting usually at 10 in the morning to four. And then Fridays, I use it to catch up on notes, do admin work, any types of presentations, anything like that, that I need to get done, I'll do it on Fridays. And for two and a half years, I've been working on Saturdays. I mean, if I had a Saturday off in a month, it was great, but generally never did because I needed to fill those spots with clients since I was working full time. But now within the summer, I'm already going to start bringing up my Saturdays and those clients, I'm either going to start closing them out or I'm going to refer them to someone else if they can't see me during the week, because I want to take my Saturdays back. So I'm excited about that. Yeah. And you can spend time with your son and get some summertime. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yeah. I worked this past Saturday, but I have the next two Saturdays off and then I worked the last Saturday of the month. But generally, I would, I would have been booked every Saturday, you know, but yeah, exactly. Exactly. Exactly. And when, you know, I've had a couple of clients that have called and have said, I can only meet on Saturdays and I did this one time and then I kicked myself in the behind that I broke my own boundary. And I said, Okay, well, I can see you on Saturday. And thank goodness that they didn't come on board for, you know, they didn't take that Saturday spot, because afterwards, I felt so guilty for saying yes, when I knew I wanted to say no. And so now when they call, I say, I don't work on Saturdays, we are closed on Saturdays. Yeah, we can see you during the week where I can refer you out. So it's been great. Yeah. And when you say that, Like when you set that boundary, when you don't overextend yourself and when you are firm about it, like the right client will come along who can meet that, right? You know, that's what I did when I stopped seeing teens when I realized like I can't work every night till eight o'clock because that's the hours that teens needed. Even though I love working with teens, it was hard to set that boundary, but it's so powerful when you say that. And then the client, if they really want to work with you, they'll make it work. You know, they'll say, well, come at lunch or can I come early in in the morning or whatever. And it's like, yep, that works for me. So. The power of setting the boundary anyway, even when it's hard. Yeah, and sticking to it. That's probably the hardest. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And my last question that I always like to ask people is just how do you take care of yourself as the doer of all the things? You're a mom, you're a wife, you're a business owner, you're so many things to so many people. How do you make sure to to prioritize yourself? So my evenings have to be free for my family, right? Every night I have to have dinner with my husband and my son. That is a non-negotiable for me. And unless it is something that is a special project or something that I am really intentional about making it a part of my vision, then I'll say yes to it. But it's gonna be a one-time thing. It's not gonna be an ongoing thing, right? So every evening it's dinner with them. Every Saturday, even though I worked on Saturdays, I made sure that I was done by 12 so that I could have lunch with them every Saturday and then enjoy the rest of the day with them. So it's evenings and weekends that I give back to my family. For myself, I also give back to myself every single day, whether it's through walking, through exercising, through reading, through watching Netflix, whatever that looks like, I need to give back to myself every single day. And I think when I tell clients that they need to do that for themselves, It's almost like. A shock for them to say, how do I even do that? Right? Like, that's not feasible. That's not possible. But it is you have to refuel yourself in order to make sure that you can give back to yourself, your business, you know, the clients that you work with, if not, you're going to run dry. So I have to find the little things like today, like I was refueled by just going to breakfast, right, and then coming here and doing this thing, you know, and then later on, I'm going I'm going to be good for my clients in the afternoon. So finding something that gives you the littlest pleasures and then every now and then putting in those big pleasures. You know, there's this thing that I tell couples that it's like the rule of three. I don't remember who came up with it. It's not mine, but I read it somewhere. And it's every three days, we spend time together. Every three weeks, you go out on a special date. And then every three months you go on a extended vacation of some sort. And that's something that I like to look at for myself too, right? Like what am I doing every three days to refuel my energy? That's not like the little things every night because it gives you, you know, it gives you some light to give back to others. I love that. I'm going to use it. I've never heard of it. Yeah. I don't know if I've read it, you know, I came across it somewhere. We hear these things, they stick and like it works, you know? Yeah. No, Thank you for sure. I do admire, because I follow you on social media and I do admire your ability to give back to yourself. Like I see you going to yoga. I mean, you wake up very early sister. I guess that's too early for me. But like just the ways like eating like good food that energize your body and like just having these connections like networking lunches or breakfast with your husband and your father-in-law like that's so special. And so I love that and I really admire that. And I think that we can all do better, you know, and just focus on how do we give back to ourselves. Right? The basic fundamentals that I always tell clients is how do you eat? What do you eat? What do you put in your body? How do you nourish it? How do you exercise whether it's through walking or moving with your you know, tiny humans? How do you so when I say eat, exercise sleep, right? Did I say sleep? No, not yet. Okay, how do you sleep? Right? What times are you going to sleep? What times are you waking up where you don't feel overly exerted or exhausted? And then. And the fourth and final one is the connection that I think a lot of people tend to forget, right? Is how do you connect not only with yourself, that's important, but also with other people that fuel your vibrance and energy in your life, because we tend to forget that we need to connect with other people, whether it's through family, friends, or just general professional connections. Yeah, amen to that. Well, thank you so much for being here. I just adore you and I think, I'm just proud of you and just what you've built, what you've created, what you continue to build, how you continue to serve your community because I know we didn't talk about that a lot, but you do a lot for your community and are doing more. And so I just know that you're a force in this profession and I'm just honored to know you. Yeah, thank you. I'm so glad that I followed you all this time before I finally reached out is that I'm ready to do it. Yeah. You know, I think a lot our stories and I talk about you a lot to other therapists, like I think our stories really aligned in a way that led me to believe that you were truly the right person to guide me through this process. And that's important, right? Is that when you connect with somebody to guide you, they have to provide you a sense of security, a sense of safety, because this is a person that you're investing in, right? And you have been that person for me, for sure, from the beginning. So I'm so thankful and grateful for you and your and your work and everything that you do for other therapists. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I love this. I love this work. And I love this conversation. So thanks for sharing everything. If you want to learn more about Valerie. Yeah, let's share where can people find you? Website is inner solace therapy.com. And Facebook and Instagram is at inner solace therapy. So very simple to the point. Yes, I will share all of that in the show notes. You can find Valerie's website and her Instagram and Facebook all there. So thank you all for listening. And we'll talk soon. Stay brave. Thank you so much for listening to the Brave and Well podcast. You can find links and resources from this episode in the show notes at www.bravenwell.com. If you enjoyed this episode. Music. Please subscribe, rate and review on your favorite podcast listening platform, then send it to a friend. 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